Understanding Exactly Why Your Ex Broke Up With You

Think you know the reasons why your girlfriend broke up with you?  Are you sure?

Maybe you need to think again. Because in the case of most breakups, your ex will never give you the real reasons for wanting to end the relationship.

Reasons for breaking up

Think I'm making this up?

Try to remember any of the old relationships that you ended.

When you broke up with those girls, were you totally and completely honest with them?

Did you tell them exactly what they did wrong, or did you make up some bullshit excuse in order to go easy on them?

Breakups are bound to be messy. When you make the decision to end your relationship, you know to expect a certain amount of resistance from your partner. You realize there will be begging, pleading, and all kinds of counter-reasoning done by this person in order to try and keep you around.

All of this is drama you really don't want. It's hard enough for you that you're letting this person go... the last thing you want is for them to find some kind of back door loophole that will keep you in the relationship. Especially since you've already put so much thought into the decision to leave.

Now put yourself back in your ex girlfriend's shoes. When she breaks up with you, this is exactly how she feels. Your girlfriend wants to keep the break as clean as possible, so she can transition seamlessly into the next phase of her life.

So without even realizing it, your ex is reinforcing the next rule:

Rule #9: Your Ex Girlfriend Will Never Tell You
All Of The Reasons Behind The Break Up

Guys do it all the time... so why should girls be different? When she wants out, your ex will always choose the path of least resistance. She'll pick the easiest and most foolproof ways of escaping from the relationship... it's really just that simple.

So unless you really know the reason your girlfriend is breaking up with you (i.e. you cheated on her), there's no way of telling exactly what caused her to end it. It may have been a combination of a lot of different things, or it might be a single issue that's just recently started bothering her.

Understanding Why She's Unhappy - Your First Big Step

It only stands to reason that if you want your ex girlfriend back, you'll have to fix the problems that made her want to break up with you in the first place.

Ex Girlfriend Broke Up With You

Trying to win her back before solving your existing issues will fail 90% of the time.

The other 10% of the time you might succeed in getting back together for a short while... but then those same issues will only tear your relationship apart again.

So instead of concentrating on what you can do to win your girlfriend back, right now you should be focusing on understanding what went wrong. By learning which aspects of the relationship have been making her unhappy, you can address and fix those problems before even trying to get back together.

What's more important is that you do this on your own. By taking such a proactive approach, you're demonstrating the ability to recognize what's wrong and the desire to make changes without being prompted. This is what your girlfriend wants.

Don't Keep Pushing Her For Reasons - Acceptance is Key

The harder you push your girlfriend for "real" reasons as to why she dumped you, the more you'll turn her off and faster you'll lose her respect.

Begging your ex to tell you what went wrong and then swearing to work on those issues is not what she wants to hear. Your girlfriend will know that you're only making such promises because you're desperate to get her back.

Any girl with a head on her shoulders will also know that any changes you make are temporary. The minute she agrees to take you back? That's the very same minute she knows things will go back to the way they were.

Only by accepting the end of your relationship can you start moving forward again. By not fighting or resisting the breakup, you can take a step back and begin analyzing what went wrong.

Even more crucial? That your ex knows you've accepted her reasoning behind the break up. Check out these opening moves that will tell your exgirlfriend exactly where you stand, no matter how long it's been since she dumped you.

Before moving forward, you need to conduct an honest analysis of your relationship, and try to look at things from your girlfriend's viewpoint. Do that, and you might be surprised to see things you never thought were a problem... but these may be the very issues that broke you up.

Handling Relationships That End In Fighting and Arguing

While it may seem like fighting is a bad thing, if your romance ended in a heated way it's actually a pretty good sign. Any relationship ended over fighting stands a pretty good chance for reconciliation. Why? Because if it's something worth fighting over, it means that your ex girlfriend still cares about it.

Fighting With Girlfriend

Fighting is a sign of interest. You don't argue with someone you don't care about. If you no longer cared, you'd just walk away.

If the fighting in your relationship was mostly initiated by your ex, there are definite reasons for it. She was probably unhappy or frustrated about something very specific, but was somehow unable to get her point across to you.

If your ex girlfriend did get to speak her mind, chances are good you weren't listening. Close your eyes, go back to those fights, and try to pick out the important aspects of them. Try to see past all the little stuff and get to the bigger picture.

Now if fights turned to insults, the situation gets a lot harder. Relationships where one or both people resort to calling each other all sorts of bad names demonstrate a lack of respect for each other. Somewhere along the way, the respect you once had for one another got lost. Before you can win back your ex girlfriend, you need to respect her again. She'll also need to respect you.

Earning back that respect is easy, even if you've lost touch and haven't communicated since going your separate ways. Learning these reversal techniques can go very far toward getting your ex girlfriend to once again see you in a good light, regardless of what you may have already done to inadvertantly push her away.

Your Girlfriend Breaks Up With You To Date Someone Else

In the case where another guy is involved, all might seem totally lost. This breakup scenario is associated with the most pain, and also with the most desperate manuvering to get your girlfriend back quickly.

Even if your ex ditched you for another guy, there's a pretty good chance she's not over you. In fact, the faster your ex jumps into a rebound relationship? The more likely it is that she still has feelings for you.

How can this be? Simple: your ex never got the chance to get over you. Instead of leaving you because things weren't working out, she left you because she thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence.

When she finds out it's not? She's coming back. That said however, you still have to be prepared... and know exactly what to do.

If your ex girlfriend begins dating another guy there are some very specific rules you must follow. Check out the complete 8-step process to stealing her back from her new boyfriend. It's fast, it's free, and most of all, it works!

Re-Opening The Lines of Communication With Your Ex

Moving forward, it's time to start making some moves:

Handling Ex Girlfriend Contact - Best Ways to Reconnect

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