Reconnecting With Your Ex Girlfriend After The Breakup

Post-breakup contact... by far, it's the hardest part of getting your ex back.

Knowing when to call, what to say, and how to approach your ex with the prospect of getting back together is a difficult prospect. It's a tricky, dangerous process, and the biggest obstacle standing between you and winning your girlfriend back.

Contacting Your Ex Girlfriend

Calling too soon? Disastrous!

Calling too late? Heartbreaking.

Not calling at all?
A potential gamble.

So how do you know when it's safe to make your move?

With all this talk of being proactive about your breakup, exactly when and how should you call your ex girlfriend?

Your First Move After The Breakup - NO Contact At All

Right after she breaks up with you is never a good time to initiate contact with your ex girlfriend. You need to drop your phone, yank the computer cord out of the wall, and get away from any device you might be tempted to use in order to call your ex.

The sooner you can remove yourself from this whole whole situation, the better your chances of getting your ex to miss you again. If it helps, think of yourself as a spy going deep undercover for a few days.

Instead of agonizing over whether you should change your MySpace status, give MySpace the middle finger and log off for now.

And as for your Facebook wall? The whole world won't come to a crashing end if you don't write on it for a little while.

Only by breaking contact and disappearing can you create a situation where:

  • There's a void in your ex's life where you used to be
  • Your ex wonders where you went (and who you're with)
  • Your ex can't understand why you haven't been chasing her
  • Your ex girlfriend suddenly starts thinking about you again

Remember this simple rule: Your girlfriend doesn't expect to lose you all at once.

Although she initiated the breakup, your ex girlfriend has prepared herself for a long, slow, gradual withdrawl on your part... filled with the comfort and security of knowing that she can get you back anytime she wants to. Once you've taken that away from her by breaking off contact? A LOT of things change.

Reappearing Socially... And Making Her Want You Back!

Ever run into an ex girlfriend who looks really good?

Maybe she's lost weight, grown her hair out, got a new job... you see her dancing across the bar - surrounded by friends - with a huge beautiful smile on her face?

Ever say "Damn, why did I let that go?"

Well good! Because if you've experienced that moment of epiphany, then you know precisely what you need to do in order to win your girlfriend back. As the saying goes: living well is always the best revenge.

Rule #11: You Can't Get Your Girlfriend Back Until You Become The Man She Wants Again

After disappearing from your girlfriend's radar, your next step is to focus on yourself. By re-creating the guy your ex once fell in love with, you're preparing yourself to succeed. The next time your ex girlfriend sees you? She should feel the same electric vibes that once attracted her to you in the first place.

Win Your Girlfriend Back

Get a little lax during your relationship? Go out and hit the gym. Sweat out your frustrations while toning yourself up. Not only will this help you physically, but it will also keep you from prematurely contacting your ex girlfriend by taking your mind off the breakup.

Need some new clothes? Go buy them. Take up running... get a tan. Stop making excuses, and get out there and do all those little things that will help boost your overall game.

By looking and feeling better, you're making yourself that much more desirable in your ex girlfriend's eyes. This is an important aspect of getting her back, because you're changing something in a positive direction. Any girl who would take you back wants to know, more than anything else, that changes can be made.

Right now you're laying low, and keeping yourself a general mystery. But when you finally start talking to and seeing your ex again? You'll want her to see that you're doing just great. And not only that, but you're doing great without her.

Knowing When To Call or Reconnect With Your Exgirlfriend

After removing yourself from her life and disappearing for a while, your ex will get curious. From here, one of two possible situations will occur:

Scenario 1:   Your Ex Girlfriend Calls or Contact You

In an ideal world, your ex girlfriend would call you. This scenario isn't as far fetched as you might think, especially if you've been following all the right withdrawl steps since the breakup occurred.

By making the right opening moves and sticking to a plan, there's a good chance your ex girlfriend will be the one contacting you first. If and when this happens, you'll need to know exactly how to handle it.

Scenario 2:   You Need To Reach Out To Your Ex Girlfriend

In some cases you'll have withdrawn, focused inwardly, and done everything by the book... yet for some reason your ex girlfriend still hasn't called yet. If this happens don't panic, because there's still a lot you can do.

Sometimes your ex will be slow to come around because she's still exploring her options. While she might miss you, she's not yet missing you to the point where she needs to be around you again. To help this out, there are some very specific ways of putting yourself back in your ex's head... and getting back on her mind. The methodology involved is tricky at best, so you have to be careful with how you handle this type of contact.

There are some very specific reinsertion techniques designed to remind your ex girlfriend of your past relationship together. Psychologically, these techniques work very well because they play upon emotional bonds that already exist between you and your ex.

Best Ways To Make Contact With Your Ex Girlfriend

Okay, if you've reached this point in the break up you should already be in prime position. By now you should have:

  • Walked away maturely from the end of the relationship
  • Demonstrated acceptance and agreement with the break up
  • Severed the lines of communication with your ex girlfriend
  • Focused inwardly on yourself, both mentally and physically
  • Identified some of the root causes of you relationship's failure

Several weeks should also have passed, without you initiating any contact. If all of the above is true, now is the time to get back in touch with your ex girlfriend... so long as you're willing to do it right.

First off, FORGET text-messaging. This is the absolute worst way to reconnect with someone you haven't talked to in a long while. Texting your ex girlfriend will come across as weak and cowardly, and she's not likely to take you very seriously at all.

Email Ex Girlfriend

Emailing your ex is marginally better, but still not the best way of getting back in touch. In some cases though, it may be a good way to break the ice... and get your ex girlfriend to call you.

Sending your ex girlfriend an email allows you to say what you want and arrange your words as perfectly as possible. The only problem is this: for your first contact after the break up? You'll want to keep things short and sweet anyway, and use as few words as you can.

In this aspect, sending an email is almost like text-messaging your ex, except that she'll probably take your attempts at contacting her a little more seriously.

When Is It Okay To Call Your Ex Girlfriend?

It's the biggest question after being dumped: should you call your ex girlfriend?

The short answer is yes... as long as you know exactly what you're doing, and the timing is right. When contacting your ex for the first time since she the break, there are a number of goals you need to accomplish:

Have a Reason For Calling Your Ex

Obviously, you'll need a semi-legitimate reason for calling your ex girlfriend. Did something good happen for her while you've been apart? Calling to congratulate your ex is always a good way to break the ice, whether she got promoted, graduated from school, won an award, or anything else.

If you're having trouble coming up with an excuse reach out to your ex again, check out these examples of exact phrases you can use to instantly reconnect with your ex girlfriend

Keep The Conversation Short

First and foremost, you need to keep things short. You'll want to reconnect with your ex, get back on her mind, and then get off the phone as quickly as possible. If you do this correctly, your ex will be left with all kinds of questions about your life that she didn't get answered. This is good, because it keeps her wanting more.

Stay Casual and Confident

Extremely important! Don't call your ex while nervous or you'll be at a disadvantage. If there's fear in your voice your girlfriend will know immediately, and any level of respect she still has for you will diminish. She'll also realize you're calling with a hidden agenda: trying to win her back. This is the last thing you want.

Call Your Ex Girlfriend In The Later Evening

Timing is everything, and for the best results you'll always want to call your ex girlfriend at exactly the right moment.

Call Your ExGirlfriend

Never call your ex in the morning, because it's too hectic. The same thing goes for during the day: there are way too many things going on and your ex might rush you off the phone because she's too busy.

You don't want to call at dinner time either, for obvious reasons. So the best time to call your ex? Later in the evening.

When the day is winding down, your ex will be more vulnerable. She'll be too tired to keep her defenses up, and she's more likely to be honest during your conversation. The evening is also when your ex is most likely to be lonely... or thinking about you... or staring at the ceiling wondering about her life. A phone call is a lot more welcomed during these times, so keep that in mind.

Getting Your Ex Girlfriend To Call You Back

You're going to make a lot of small talk during the first phone call to your ex girlfriend. There will be a lot to catch up on, with work, school, friends and such. Don't overdo it, and don't push for details - try to let your ex do most of the talking.

Ultimately however? Your goal should be to get your ex girlfriend to call you the next time. The next time you talk is where you'll work some magic, especially since she initiated the contact. For now however, take things one step at a time. Keep your call short, and end it while she's still wanting to hear more.

Alright, let's jumpstart your reconcilation by checking out the following:

6 Instant Adjustments That Will Make Your Exgirlfriend Want you Back



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