Getting Her Back When Your Girlfriend Caught You Cheating

Was your break up the result of you cheating on your girlfriend?

If so, things just got a lot more complicated. You've got a whirlwind of angry, violent emotions to deal with... and when that's finally over, you need to know exactly what to do and say that will get her talking to you again.

Get Girlfriend Back After Cheating

Infidelity is one of the biggest causes of a permanent breakup. Yet the main reason for this statistic is that the person who was unfaithful usually gives up trying to win back the person they cheated on.

In short, most people don't think it's possible to get back together and continue a relationship once cheating is involved.

The good news? It's actually easier to get your girlfriend back after she catches you cheating on her than it is if she'd broken up with you for other reasons.

The idea behind that is pretty simple: when your girlfriend initiates a normal break up, it's because she actually wants to end your relationship. She's had time to think about breaking up, and not having you in her life. She's unhappy about the romance and wants it either changed or ended. In both cases, you have an uphill climb.

But when your girlfriend catches you cheating on her with another girl? Although there's anger and rage involved, all the feelings and emotions she's always had for you are still intact. Over and over she might tell you that she hates you, but in reality your girlfriend is just pushing you away as a defensive reflex. Deep down inside? She still loves you... even though she might currently hate you for your betrayal.

To sum it up: Your girlfriend isn't ready to break up. But because you cheated on her, she feels forced to do something about it.

Pressure will come in the form of friends, family, and co-workers telling your girlfriend to dump you ASAP. Even though she's still in love with you, your ex will be railroaded into making quick decisions once she catches you with someone else.

Rule #14: Your Girlfriend Can Get Over The Fact That You Cheated... But Only If You Take The Right Approach

To win your girlfriend back in a situation like this, you need to get her past the anger, the lying, the deceitfulness, and the pain. You'll also need to learn the best techniques to getting your ex to trust you again after you she caught you cheating.

Simple right? Of course not. After getting caught being unfaithful, you've got a long road ahead of you if you want to fix things between you and your now exgirlfriend.

The following step by step approach will help you win back your girlfriend after she catches you with another woman. If you're willing to take these steps in the right order, even the most messy of cheating scenarios can be cleaned up, and your romance put back on the right track.

Step 1:   Be Sure Your Affair is Over

I shouldn't even have to say this, but here it is anyway: before trying to win your girlfriend back, make sure the cheating is over.

If you're still nailing some girl on the side, trying to get your girlfriend back is stupid and pointless. Be sure you've ended the side relationship before even attempting to make up with your exgirlfriend, out of respect to both you, her, and even the girl you cheated on her with.

Step 2:   Make An Honest, Genuine Apology

One of the first things you need to do is apologize for cheating. This indicates to your girlfriend that you accept responsibility for cheating on her, as well as being sorry for what you did.

Make sure your apology is sincere. As much as she probably doesn't want to hear it right now, you must be honest and genuine if you want any chance of winning her back. Don't just be sorry because you got caught... be sorry for what you did. And trust me, any girl within earshot of such an apology will always know the difference.

Step 3:   Let Her Rage

Once she gets over the initial shock of your infidelity, your girlfriend's next emotion will be anger. And guess what? She'll have LOTS of it.

Girlfriend Breaks Up With You

Understand something here: your girlfriend has every right to be angry. You betrayed her trust, and you had sex with another girl. NOTHING you could say or do right now will calm her down, so don't even try.

By letting your girlfriend rage, you're allowing her to get her anger out in the best possible way: naturally. By not asking her to calm down you're giving her an outlet for all the bad feelings and possible hatred she might have for you right now.

DON'T tell her "Everything will be alright".

DON'T continue to apologize either, as it will just make things worse. Right now your girl is looking for the slightest excuse to continue going off on you... anything you say or do will be construed as you trying to weasel out of your punishment.

By not saying anything, you can't say anything wrong. You're not making any excuses for what you did, and you're not trying to assuage her with words of wisdom. You're not even trying to calm her down, because you know she's right. Your girlfriend is entitled to be angry here, and trying to take that away will only make her more angry.

After your apology, stay silent and look forlorn. Let her scream, yell, throw things, and whatever else (within reason) she wants to do. And when she's raged for a while and things seem pretty hairy? That's when you move onto the next step:

Step 4:   Walk Away... And Give Her Time To Herself

At this point your girlfriend will have broken up with you for cheating. You're sad, sorry, scared shitless... maybe you're even a little indifferent.

Right now however, it doesn't really matter how you feel. Because the only thing you should be doing right now is nothing at all.

By walking away while your girlfriend is still angry, you're making sure things don't get too ugly. Allowing her to rage is healthy, but eventually there will come a point where just being around your girlfriend becomes more destructive than constructive. You'll know exactly when this time is, because you'll feel less and less guilty and more and more like a punching bag.

In walking away, you might feel like your relationship is over. It might look like you're giving up, and not fighting to keep the relationship.

And you know what? GOOD. That's exactly what you want it to feel like. Because if it feels that way to you... it certainly feels that way to your girlfriend as well.

Cheated on Girlfriend

Again, remember: your girlfriend didn't choose to break up with you. By cheating on her, you made the decision for her. This is not something she wanted, but rather something she was forced into. Because it happened so suddenly, the feelings your girlfriend has for you are all still there.

By giving your ex some time away from you, you're allowing time for her anger to drain. Without you around to throw insults and punches at, your girlfriend's rage will eventually subside.

When the happens, what's left is longing. Suddenly there's a big hole in her life where you used to be. Despite the fact that you cheated on her, your girlfriend will still miss you. She might even hate the fact that she misses you... but she'll miss you nonetheless.

This is the best time to implement some of these fast-working techniques. Each of them is designed to increase your girlfriend's desire to have you back in her life again, regardless of the fact that you were unfaithful to her.

Step 5:   Give Your Girlfriend One Last Apology

By now, your girlfriend should be really missing you. She hasn't forgiven you for what you've done, but she's certainly thought a lot about you in the time you've been apart from each other.

This is your opportunity to reach out one last time, telling your girlfriend how sorry you are for what happened. Just like the first one, your final apology needs to be sincere. This one will have more impact though, because enough time has passed that at least some of the wounds should've started healing by now.

"I'm tremendously sorry for what I did. Not only was it wrong, it was disrespectful. What we had was awesome, and I hate myself for ruining it. I just wanted you to know that I've had a lot of time to think about things, and reflect back on how stupid I was."

A few things happened here. First, you solidly apologized. Instead of making lame excuses about 'being bored with the relationship' or 'drifting apart', you stepped up like a man and made your apology with no conceptions. You ex should respect you for that, no matter what stage she's at right now.

Next, you let your girlfriend know how much you treasured your past relationship. If she's feeling the same way about the romance, this puts you both on the same page. After cheating on her, she might've doubted whether or not you really cared to begin with... but here, you're telling her that you did.

Last, you're giving the impression that you've spent a lot of time thinking things through. Your girlfriend wants to hear this, because it shows an acceptance of guilt by you. Part of her wanting to punish you for cheating on her involves making you feel badly. Stepping forward and telling her you feel this way is a great start.

No matter how your ex reacts to this last apology, don't overdo it. Once again, walking away is always the best course of action. If she wants to talk? Great. You could be on the path to getting back together. But if you still sense rage, anger, or even vengance? Leave her alone, and let your ex miss you some more.

Step 6:   Break Contact, and Let Her Come Back To You

By now, you've done everything you need to do. Left alone for a while, your ex will start mulling over the idea of forgiving you.

Wipe The Slate Clean After Cheating

The strangest part? First she'll ask friends and family what they think about taking you back. Your ex feels chumped by the fact that you went behind her back... this made her feel pretty stupid. She doesn't want to feel even more stupid by taking you back only to be cheated on you again... so she'll look for validation in other people close to her before making the decision herself.

If your ex doesn't come back at this point, don't panic. There's a level of forgiveness that needs to be reached before your girlfriend will consider going back out with you.

Read up on the various ways you can get your ex to forgive you after cheating.

There are a lot of subtle things you can do and say - even while broken up - that will turn her opinion of you around, clearing the way for you to build trust again. Until your ex feels as if she can somewhat trust you, you'll never be able to win her back.

Wiping the Slate Clean And Starting Over

Cheating can leave lasting scars on even the best of relationships. To lessen the future impact of what happened in the past, you need to know exactly how to wipe the slate of your new relationship totally clean.

Starting fresh, even after being unfaithful, is a topic covered in great detail by Cucan Pemo. Through books, worldwide seminars, and other appearances, his widely-acclaimed guide bring back the love of your life has already helped tens of thousands of couples reunite with each other and begin new, lasting relationships.

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