Winning Your Girlfriend Back

So Your Girlfriend Dumped You... What Do You Do Now?

Okay, you got dumped. Hey, it happens to the best of us. You're crusing along, things are great and then all of a sudden... WHAM! Your girlfriend sits you down and ends your relationship. Minutes later you're broken, alone, and totally confused.

So what happens next? Do you run home, curl up into a ball, and pray for the phone to ring? Or do you call your friends, head on out, and begin living up your new single life right away?

You're going to get a lot of brutal honesty while reading this website, and that same type of honesty is also expected.

That said, look at the photo to the left, and truthfully answer this question:

←  Look familiar?

Are you at home right now, crying and sobbing about the end of your relationship?

Are you remeniscing about all the great times you and your girlfriend once shared?

Does it feel like someone just punched you in the stomach, and you want to throw up?

If so, it's time to STOP IT.

The very first step to getting your girlfriend back is to stop crying and feeling sorry for yourself. The harder you take the breakup, the harder it will be to win your girlfriend back. Without her respect, she'll never consider dating you again.

Crying, or even getting glassy-eyed, is strictly off limits. In fact, there are only three times in a man's whole life when it's okay to cry:

• When your team wins the Superbowl^*
• At the birth of your child
• At the funeral of someone you love

(* Sports-crying is limited to 10 seconds or less, and if caught, you're required to say you got 'something in your eye'. NOTE: The World Series is not the Superbowl. Baseball is for pansies.)

Okay, let's get back to winning your girlfriend back.

Making a long story short, your girlfriend never wants to see you in a position of weakness or vulnerability. Women are attracted to strong, powerful, confident men. This is why they date bad-boys, and guys who own motorcycles.

Women also want men who are self-assured and in control of their lives. A guy who's got his shit together is always a turn-on. He'll always beat out the guy who's unsure of himself, hesitant about his every move, or just plain wishy-washy.

Crying over your breakup looks downright pathetic. It reeks of desperation. It shows your ex that you put all of your eggs in a single basket, and then you handed that basket to her for safekeeping.

When she sees you this upset, your exgirlfriend will realize that your happiness completely depended upon her. It shows a total reliance on her, and a complete lack of you having a life of your own. As much as some of them might seek this type of control, women are always turned off by this. Simply put, they don't want this type of responsibility.

Which leads us to...

Think your girlfriend dumped you without looking back? Think again. Any time a girl initiates a breakup, she's always going to look back over her shoulder to see how her boyfriend handles it. She does this for her own edification, and not for yours.

Understand something: your girlfriend wants to see you upset. She wants to see you fall apart. By watching you cry, fight, rage against the breakup and otherwise go to pieces, your now ex girlfriend gets something she's wanted all throughout your relationship: validation.

A crying ex boyfriend means that you cared. A sad ex boyfriend means that you loved her. Like everyone else on the planet, your girlfriend just wants to be loved. She wants to think that you needed her, and that she wasn't just wasting her time by dating you.

At the same time however, your girlfriend wants to think she made the right decision in breaking up with you. Once you start crying and begging her to take you back, she knows she has. Neediness and desperation on your part translates to one very important and damaging thing: your girlfriend will start thinking she can do better than you.

This is exactly what goes through your girlfriend's mind when you fight the breakup. As you sit there trying to convey how much you need and miss her, your ex is being completely turned off at what a dependant mess you've become.

Here's where you'll insist on contacting your ex, in an attempt to convey your 'true feelings' for her. And each time you try, she'll lose more and more respect for you.

As you feel her slipping away, you'll push even harder... and this will cause your ex to run faster and faster in the opposite direction.

See where this is going? It's a vicious cycle, and the cycle begins the moment she breaks up with you. That's why every single move you make matters.

Okay, let's review:

Behaviors That Will Drive Your Ex Girlfriend Away

 Crying, sobbing, sniffling, and getting overly emotional

 Begging her to give the relationship 'a second chance'

 Exhibiting neediness or desperation of any kind

 Acting upset, depressed, broken-hearted, or sad

 Getting angry with the fact she broke up with you

The more of these behaviors you exhibit, the worse off you'll be. Acting in these ways can very quickly push your girlfriend away from you... maybe even forever.

But hey, there's good news too. Because once you realize which actions are hurting your chances for reconcilition, you'll also realize that opposite behaviors will have an opposite effect. More specifically, attracting your ex girlfriend right back to you.

Post-Breakup Actions That Put You In a Positive Light

 Avoiding immediate future contact with your ex girlfriend

 Not responding to phone calls, texts, or emails from her

 Refusing to engage in any Facebook or MySpace bullshit

 Getting out with friends, laughing, having a great time

 Moving on with your life, as if nothing bad has happened

When your girlfriend looks back over her shoulder, make sure she sees all the right things. She should see a guy who just got cut loose, living out a happy, independent life. There should be no sorrow, and no trying to talk her out of breaking up. In short, you should be moving forward in every single way.

When a girl sees these things, it forces her to stop and ask some hard questions:

Where your ex was once so sure of herself, she's now filled with nagging doubt. She'll immediately wonder whether she valued and needed the relationship a lot more than you did, and that's when something very important happens: your ex girlfriend begins to question her decision to break up with you.

Alright, you get the general idea. Let's move onto something even more important:

Getting Your Girlfriend To Need You Again